5 keys to reasonable optimism

To see good in life, without falling into illusion and without conflicting with common sense – whether it is possible? We tell you what this ability is and how it can be developed.

Optimism causes distrust of many reasons. Someone looks at optimists with ironic contempt, since in European culture mind and skepticism are almost synonyms. Others are too tired of so frequent calls and spells in recent years – to change the view of themselves, at other people and the world as a whole, to see life in pink color.

And this distrust is quite reasonably in the conditions of the pernicious dominance of the naive optimism that the psychoanalyst Alain calls the “optimism of illusions”, and in which magical thinking and self -hypnosis are deftly and always honestly and not always honestly mixed up.

As if to believe enough to see, to say enough to become, to repeat enough to succeed

Psychologist Evgeny Osin notes that “by default” our psyche is rather negative: “Many studies show that negative information is psychologically more for us, we are more sensitive to loss than acquisitions.

Indeed, in the wild, the ability to feel the danger and threat is vitally important. But in the modern world, where there are not so many risks for our physical existence, this skill does not so much help as he plunges us into depression and deprives us of strength ”.

The ideal option is a combination of positive attitudes with the realism of assessments and a critical approach. Alain’s poacher calls him “reasonable optimism”.

“Reasonable, because we proceed from the facts convincing us that he really benefits in various fields of our lives,” he claims. – A reasonable optimist does not indulge in illusions;He develops the plan and takes into account the criterion of effectiveness where the optimist who own illusions is content with magical formulas “.

Our experts offer five steps that will help to find reasonable optimism.

1.Use pessimism

Reasonable optimism is far from simplifications, to which positively advertised positive thinking is prone to today. And pessimism for a reasonable optimist is not at all prohibited.

Being assigned to business, pessimism can serve good service in the implementation of our plans and ambitious ideas. First of all, because it forces it to take into account difficulties, obstacles, delays and all kinds of factors that can lead to failure.

He is both “protection from a fool”, which does not allow us to fall into “optimism of illusions”, and an incentive to creativity, to transform difficulties into achievement. Forcing the initiative to overcome obstacles, pessimism pushes us to mobilize all our resources.

A sober view of the https://globalpharmacy24.com/drug/dutas world, foresight, ingenuity – these are the dignity of electoral pessimism, put to the service of realistic optimism.

If we are too positive, we can underestimate the difficulties that expect us, and this prevents us from preparing for them properly. The best option is when our view of reality is sober enough to correctly evaluate the features of the situation, but is still quite optimistic so that we do not lose faith in ourselves.

Therefore, it is important to listen to your critical and incredulous inner voice, take into account its warnings and think about how we achieve our goals contrary to all obstacles.

2. Reason positively

It’s not easy to believe in the best when everything goes wrong as it should. But you can borrow from optimists at least two features of their outlook on life: approach to the future and a way of explaining what is happening. They affect how we reason, and not how we feel.

The optimistic approach to the future is the belief that the desired results will be achieved, or the belief that in the future we will have positive actions, experiences, experience. In other words, expecting some negative events, it is important to contrast each fear or obstacle with a positive “antidote”, thereby restoring the balance in emotions and thoughts.

They found that optimists tend to consider unpleasant episodes as simultaneous ones associated with a specific situation and caused by external causes.

We can also analyze every negative event, letting it through the sieve of these criteria. Finally, optimists, unlike pessimists, believe that active actions will lead to more favorable results than non -interference in the course of events.

Active behavior-to develop a strategy, make a choice, make something more positive than passivity, whether in terms of self-esteem, self-confidence or vision of the future.

So it would be nice to learn the habit of first evaluate the situation, and then ask myself: “What can I do now?”Then we cease to feel like a toy in the hands of fate and circumstances, and we can again become the current subject of our life.

3. Act in accordance with reality

In every difficulty, you should look for hidden possibilities, and not consider it as a reason to “wave your hand” and “quit everything”. But first it is important to give yourself time to “digest” the problem and the emotions caused by it. We make too many decisions in a hurry simply because I want to go more likely to a more pleasant episode.

But reasonable optimism is consistent with reality;He does not imply either her denial or suppression of negative emotions.

We can look at the event detached and thoughtfully: “What new knowledge this situation gave me? That I can improve? What are the prospects this situation reveals to me (try a different path, change the method of action, wait for a favorable moment)?”

Look at the situation differently-it means also to recognize the existence of problems that cannot be solved: in general or at the moment. Studies show that optimists are easier to enforce with the inability to implement their plan and move on to another project, while the pessimists continue to painfully trample on the spot, losing time and effort.

The best way to make sure that the problem is really unresolved is to contact a competent specialist whom we trust.

4.Enjoy life

A little embellish reality is the natural property of a healthy psyche. See reality as it is, most often prone people in a state of depression.

The belief that the world is rather good than bad, and others are rather kind than evil, gives hope that is necessary in order to successfully cope with life. Without this “background” optimism, we would hardly risk starting novels, creating families, getting to work. And we have ways to strengthen our energy and vitality.

Unlike a pessimist, whose look only the bad, the optimist builds a positive feedback, based on his little victories.

One of the founders of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, suggests recalling before going to bed three good things that happened to you during the day. If you are used to thinking about failures, at first it may not be easy. But the good on this day was also surely, maybe in the little things: someone smiled at you, gave way, you were in a hurry and managed to do it on time.

Remembering three good things every evening, we learn to notice and value positive events. According to Seligman, it is enough to do this exercise for two weeks, so that attention to a good habit.

5. To study your regret

Pessimism affects not only the future, it applies to the past. Negative generalizations and fixation on failures undermine self -esteem and faith in themselves. But from the past, you can extract moments of happiness, success. Twist the album with photos or ask loved ones to remind them of the joys that you had in the past.

Another pitfall – regret. None of us can boast of that he has made mistakes in life, but there are regrets that take away all intellectual and emotional energy from us, not allowing living here and now. These regrets require a consistent, step by step, removal.

To do this, place the object of regret in the correct context: what desire has generated? Which led to failure? What could we do to succeed?

Then you need to try to give him relevance again: if the one once lost now? Under what conditions? If we succeeded, what would it give us? Are we sure that we want it so much and that nothing else would bring us the same satisfaction?

The benefits of such issues are that they bring us out of captivity of fantasies and passivity and set us face to face with our true desires.